Which Witch is Which?

The English language.

It’s the only one I speak…fluently anyway (Oui). But sometimes, and lately has been one of those times,  it just manages to baffle me in all new ways. I heard somewhere a while ago that English is the hardest language to learn, and I don’t know if that is true or not, but seriously I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s just crazy. So, considering there is no time like the present, I thought I would present you with this present of literary questions.

If I have one goose and two geese, why not one moose and two meese?

We here on the bloggersphere are writers who write, and workers who work, so why don’t hammers ham and grocers groce? And why is it that being a ‘wise man’ and a ‘wise guy’ mean the opposite thing, but having a ‘fat chance’ and a ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing?

I mean, how could it possibly be that dose, rose and lose don’t rhyme?

But it isn’t just spelling, I still think that whoever decided putting ‘g’ and ‘h’ together to make an ‘f’ sound (as in cough) is just cruel. Or that saying the word ‘queue’ is the same as saying ‘cue’.

Now if English didn’t confuse you before, I think that just about does it. However, if I still haven’t quite convinced you, just remember that lead and read rhyme and lead and read rhyme, but lead and read don’t rhyme and neither do lead and read…(good luck wrapping your head around that one first go).

And maybe it’s not even because the English language is that difficult, but that we are becoming consistently worse spellers. Now with technology and whatnot, you don’t need to learn spelling rules, that little red squiggle underneath words simply tells you all the answers. But sometimes even this fails us! And come on, you know English is complex when autocorrect doesn’t even know what were trying to say half of the thyme.

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